Crush my battle opponent’s balls!

Mighty hails,

Bring on the unending frozen grimness! A glorious winter break has been bestowed upon us. Some may argue that this is hardly a winter break, “where is the snow?” they would scoff. My friends, here at The Gene and Mike Show, we call those people fascists.

We have tasted free time and alas, there is still much more to be experienced. Normally on such a Sunday afternoon I would be slaving over the fine points of mathematics and then retiring to good ol’ Guild Wars: Nightfall. Bwhaha, that was in the past, now I’m uploading episode 10 (omg spoiler alert?), writing this blog post and putting thought into recording another episode! The very idea of periodical recording… unheard of!

I reckon it’s about time I go rock out to some metal, you all can listen to episode 10. Clearly, you are the winners here.

Season's Greetings,
Mike

Heads up listeners: ID3 tags render the show unplayable on Windows Media Player (huh, wow) so you can play the show in the sexy flash player or use real player, quicktime, basically anything other than WMP, unless you laugh at danger and break all the rules. Should you choose the latter, I salute you.

The Blog I Write

I'm looking at the date of our last blog and apparently The Gene and Mike Show does not support November. I think this is fair enough, after all November is just the bastard month between Halloween and Christmas. Granted November did hold a brutal death metal concert in the middle of it at The Opera House but that's another story for another podcast (that's been recorded weeks ago and we've yet to upload :$ ).

That was an embarrassed emoticon back there in case you didn't catch it. Check your MSN yourself if you don't believe me... I know I had to.

Onto one of my first conquests of December: I managed to find the new 'I' cd 'Between Two Worlds' and at HMV no less! There it was hidden behind that one Iced Earth cd all the music stores seem to carry and I'm glad I found it. For those of you who are just not "keeping in the know" I is the new Norwegian supergroup (which is especially super because it doesn't include Evan Seinfeld...man I hate that guy) formed by Abbath Doom Occulta from Immortal. Backing him up are fellow past and present Immortal bandmates Demonaz writing lyrics and Armagedda playing drums and John Candy impersonator, along with TC King (King Ov Hell) from Gorgoroth playing bass and Ice Dale (Arve Isdal ) from Enslaved on lead guitar. I think we all were a little confused what to expect when we first heard 'The Storm I Ride' promo released with its frostbitten Motorhead vibe but the rest of the songs have a much heavier Bathory influence which suits nicely. Between Two Worlds might come off as too produced for some but I think it worked best to actually be able to hear the instruments. Ice Dale has some fine licks along with a hilarious shirtless photo in the booklet which looked like it would fit well on the cover of Tween Magazine...well the Trve Tween Magazine at least. I've heard some complaints about Abbath's voice in this album too but I really like it, some parts like at the beginning of 'Warriors' were especially epic. Overall I'd say A+++ would buy again!

Off to take a great warriors sleep,
Gene

And don't forget the joker!

Contrary to popular belief, no, we’re not dead.

“The Gene and Mike Show” has experienced a hiatus of sorts, with precious free time becoming gradually scarcer and with the inability of “the franchise” Francis to click a few buttons to upload an episode which is only available on his computer, this kind of situation was expected. Episode 9 has landed in my hands since then, post-production is complete and it is available for your listening pleasure. The majority of this episode focuses on an alternate view of the black metal scene, that being, the perspective of Varg Vikernes. A harsh contrast to episode 8, but I believe this episode should interest you all.

We’re getting together today to record another episode, believe it or not. That is, a very momentous installment, the tenth to be exact. How does one celebrate such an occasion? Well, I for one have sent emails to Metal Blade, Century Media and Candlelight records in hopes that we can get some licensed tunes for the show. We are also looking into methods of getting interviews and such (can anyone say portable recording!?). The tides are turning and the ante will be upped in the post-episode 10 future. Friends, look forward to it.

Listen to episode 9 here.
Due to some wacky error, you're gonna have to listen to it in the flash player or dl it from the Internet Archive http://www.archive.org/details/TheGeneandMikeShowEpisode9 and use the VLC player.

Playing for the high one, dancing with the devil,
Mike

Inno A Wanna Fanta

I think it's important to note that 'Inno A Wanna Fanta' is best read while being chanted ala here(the end specifically) with some guy harmonizing back vocals with you. In fact I even implore you to get a power metal-esque keyboardist no matter what those comments on YouTube there say. Although I will agree with the one user "joelegion1349" in that any comment, sentence or five paragraph essay that involves the phrase 'power metal' should indeed end with a solid "foooooooo!".

Wowee after surfing some links (starting from my very own link!) I found some brit singing Cannibal Corpse lounge music! As cool as CC is I should start talking about our own show since that IS why you're here... r-right?

So after a bit of a break The Gene and Mike Show is back in the works with the return of Francis. With him he brought just enough cheap charms he picked up in the airport for us, and new exotic treats (this weird marshmallow like stuff that tastes like meat) to fuel the recording of episode 9. All that needs to be done is the uploading so keep an eye on this post being updated. Not having to record in that "Wildcat"(if that is his real name)'s place brought back a nice laid-back vibe to this episode and I think it's one of the most informative yet. If you don't think you know enough about Varg Vikernes and his view of the events of 1993 then this episode is the one for you!

Off to research Fanta's Nazi roots deeper,
Gene

The heart of this podcast was forged by four winds!

Perhaps lyrics from the battle folk metal band Turisas don't mix that well with podcasting. Unless...

Alternate Title: Far away, where the podcasts never fade.

Hmmmm, this is quite the dilemma. The afternoon is still young; remnants of the morning chill still inhibit the greatest of my thoughts and ideas. Wow, that sentence was pretty bitchin', what kind of school do you have to go to in order to become a skald?

It has come to my attention that I'm wasting your time, well then; episode eight of The Gene and Mike Show is a wild one to say the least. The new recording environment gave way to unprecedented wackiness and anger (how often are those two put together?). A solid episode was produced nonetheless with new theme music for The Krieg Kountdown added in post-production and none for our head-to-head segment better known as, "Have Things Taken a Turn for The Fresca." If you've ever wanted a deep insight into the history of black metal, this is the episode for you!

I swear we'll never record at that guy's place again... Here's the episode, enjoy.

Cursing the morning chill,
Mike

I guess what I'm trying to tell you guys in this post is that I like t-shirts

I don't think any of you realize just how close I was to naming this post 'Blog Fire Death' (after the Bathory song 'Blood Fire Death'). Luckily I gained my composure, stopped, and thought "man, Quorthon deserves much better wordplay than that". Now that I think about it though I bet 'Blog Fire Death' would make a pretty bitchn' t-shirt, especially if taken out of context. Of course the shirt in question would have to have some nice olde timesy font and some powerful visuals! L-like a flaming skull working his livejournal?

Speaking of conceptual designs for t-shirts: Francis has indeed been gone for far too long (that segue will make sense in a few sentences I swear!). This Post-Francis world has been brutal leaving us with very little to do while our head asian and former technical advisor is off surfing lava flows half way round the world. I glanced through some 'Windows Live Today' article on the daily haps in the Philippines I think I know what I'm talking about. Should he not return we are prepared however, we will just have to get t-shirts made with Francis' face on them saying something like "Through his spirit is our power". I forget if we mentioned this idea in an episode of the podcast before but basically I'm saying we'd be left with a couple boxes full of these shirts and Mike and I would be the only ones sporting them. We'd end up donating the extra shirts to Goodwill just to clear the boxes out. This would probably then lead to the streets being filled with the homeless advertising Francis' face all around town. This hypothetical situation actually sounds so enticing I just may have to make these shirts a reality with or without Francis coming home!

I was going to get into this new [adult swim] show Metalocalypse that I think has to be one of the greatest things ever but it's getting late and y'all can just read the comment I left here for now. It'll sure to be a topic of discussion if we ever get around to recording another episode soon too so don't worry. I advise everybody to find the first two episodes that are out right now if you haven't already and even listen to the interview with the co-creator Brendon Small you can find at the bottom of that Metalocalypse wiki page that really shows Small knows his stuff on the Scandinavian Metal scene. Heh, I'm amazed I got through this last paragraph without mentioning a t-shirt idea...although a Dethklok tee would rock.

Wishing I could change my pseudonym to Nathan Explosion,
Gene

Pay no mind to us, we're just a minor threat.

Possible show slogan conceived while watching a Brita Filter commercial: The Gene and Mike Show, it's not like it's piss.

Zing

It's been an eventful week so far, not that I can list the series of events that led to this deduction, it's simply been a generally rockin' time! My gawd, the metal has been awesome, bands like Helheim, Bal-Sagoth and yes, ever the mysterious Via Mistica (will blow your mind) have worked their way into my playlist. I have had an uncontrollable urge to listen to more Thyrfing; the inner-viking in me craves it. Hmmmm, we've been owning up some serious video gaming action, today we just realized Francis owns a copy of Medal of Honor: European Assault that he has been hiding from us. Rest assured, we liberated the game and gave it a whirl. The split-screen multiplayer action is intense, there's this mode called "Nemesis" which is whoaaaaa! Hell, we even owned up some Cube action at one of our acquaintances' home.

I could go on and on... well, not really, but I do have a link to this rad interview with the late Valfar from the legendary Windir which we stumbled across. Valfar is a great guy and really comes off as a down to earth dude, not that I can understand Norweigan, but you don't need to in order to realize the awesomeness that is Valfar, ein Windir.

And now what you've all been waiting for... Episode 7 of The Gene and Mike Show!

Till next time,
Mike

Misty tales and podcasts lost

Alternate title: "I like making word play that no one will get except for maybe that French dude with the Blind Guardian shirt I saw at Wonderland once"...but too long right?

I'm currently watching this epic 3 minute short by the maker of the Perry Bible Fellowship. Not only are the comics hilarious gag strips but I am quite intrigued by this "Golden Turtle" the film speaks of (you'll notice I linked right to the broadband version right there cause that's just how much of a devil-may-care kind of guy I am). The music during the credits just scream Home Movies and man I loved that show. Now I don't really know how to compare this stuff to the 2 hour "Yo Momma" marathon I watched at Francis' "crib" today though. They were both rad? Rad in their own way! Basic premise of the show is Wilmer Valderrama takes some people from their respective "hoods" and has them make fun of each others Momma's (underneath some freeways) then by tournament style rule they are eliminated until only the most dissmastering (word?)/racist survive to tee-off against each other representing their respective hood. The winner is then decided by judges Wilmer Valderrama, Jason Everhart and I think I saw Cecil Peoples. The great fun comes when we decided to parody the whole shindig creating some great lines like "Yo momma so ugly, she's the man now dog!" from Francis. Did I mention the big crowd that surrounds the finalists ala Thunderdome that just go "OHHHHH" on cue? Those guys should have been there when Francis said that line.

Man I just talked way more about Yo Momma then I ever planned to...

As for this week its taken a good 7 morning chills but Mike is finally back today. In the mean-time though I've been reading Ryan North's Live Journal because apparently 810 comics are just not enough for me. I must say that guy brings new meaning to the word awesome (i.e. awe·some (ôsm) ADJECTIVE: to be super awesome) and he even lives right here in the good ol' T-Dot (Toronto to those of you who are sadly not "with it"). So basically its been a deadly mix of that, Snack Packs and everything Wilford Brimley. Specifically the Colbert Report segments you can find here and here. I saw the second one straight from the show but had to hunt down that first one. Fun Fact: Wilford Brimley was in Hardtarget with "the muscles from Brussels" Jean Claude Van Damme (now I didn't link Hardtarget or Van Damme there because you guys should know better...plus I've been linking way too much here). Granted linking is right up there with parentheses (or parenthesi?) on the burnsauce index. The diabetes would be on the weaksauce end of the spectrum.

Now I think you guys realize how dangerous it would have been to record an episode in the past fortnight... that and Francis didn't want to step up to the plate and co-host the special edition Gene and Francis Show I had planned. Totally weaksauce I know but we will make it up to you guy(s?) I'm sure of it.

I think this spicy burnsauce post is a good start,
Gene "Machine" Parmesan

How Long You Wanna Live, Anyway?

Hmmmm, can you hear it? Listen closer... the shadows of heat, how they flicker.

That my friends, was a 'The Brak Show' reference. Now for the bonus round: the title of my blog post today is a song by what rockabilly band? Feel free to drop a comment with your answer and earn yourself the most precious prize of all, my respect... possibly.

Moving on, how was episode six, pretty rocking, eh? Ahhh, tell me about it, unfortunately I will be going on vacation for a week so episode seven will have to be postponed. Maybe Francis will fill in my position... outrageous! Ah hell, UFC is on Saturday... this will be a problem.

We watched Pride Critical Countdown Absolute yesterday, it totally blew me away. The main event with Yoshida and Cro Cop ended in a fashion I have never quite seen before, catch the replay folks, it's worth it. Hmmmm, what else is going on? I bought Ihsahn's "The Adversary" yesterday. The majority of reviews on the internet make me wonder if these people have even listened to the CD. The sheer spectrum of influences and styles are both melodically pleasing while also creating a welcoming dissonance which screams for resolution. The vocals do not only consist of Ihsahn's black metal growls, which is refreshing. The mold has been broken and Ihsahn shows us that there is still life in this often criticized genre. This is one of those albums that doesn't only appeal to metal heads, but simply to fans of music as well. Don't be deterred by the few Negative Nancies out there. Check this one out ladies and gents.

Well, I see you have a lot to think about. I'll be leaving now...

Contemplating the whereabouts of Blashyrkh,
Mike

Blog posts where things take a turn for the unawesome: (EDIT: check out the episode 6 link!)

Oh man summer is upon us! To fully understand my love of summer is to fully understand the unblinking eye of madness... and I so just edited a Dinosaur Comics quote there. Only real difference is that T-rex was talking about strawberries and was somewhat more hesitant with his response. I think the point still stands though: summer (and strawberries) = awesome and that's not even getting into the awesomeness of Dinosaur Comics by Ryan North, we saved that for the show. I once again feel like I owe Zach Miller money but I can't help it, things are just that awesome today.

Which I guess brings us to the topic of the show. We are in fact still alive over here, things have just been a little hectic what with exams and y'know...video games. Episode 6 has actually been recorded and ready for almost a week now but Mike's got some technical difficulties with his computer breaking down on him. I suppose I could upload the new episode myself but someone hasn't told me where our Internet Archive account is. At least that's how I assume that site works but whatev. You guys have got some Dinosaur Comic archives to read through in the mean time! Plus the UWA show is tonight (check the links for details) and the card looks stacked. I expect to see every able-bodied one of you guys down there.

Also might I add how great it is how so much of my blog posts are written like I am directly talking to people... people who probably don't exist. That came off way more sad and somewhat creepy then I intended...shit.

Your shortcomings and regrets, personified,
Gene

Hark! Episode 6 has finally been uploaded. It is quite possibly the best one to date. We cover the usual and the unusual! Sorry for the delay :(
CLICK HERE!

Stay Strong,
Mike

Even At Our Worst We're Still Better Than Most

I think I should start this post off with stating that I am currently down at the Francis abode watching Power Rangers Zeo. "Who's afraid of the big bad wolf" says Tommy... what a weirdo. Now that that's all taken care of:

I don't know who has been lazier the last week or so, us or all of you. The web traffic has been embarrassing...hehe embarrASSing, I wonder if that's a typo. Woah, Power Rangers bloopers! Shit what was I talking about? Uhhh, I'll let Mike take over. Unless of course Francis is up for some feeding of the blog dogs :)

Off to hand out hugs not drugs,
Gene

You know, you could've mentioned something about the lack of an episode this week. Well, let me offer the simplest explanation: the lack of progress over the past week made me think, why record more episodes if no one is really listening? To those who have been actively listening, you will unfortunately have to suffer until we solve our publicity issues. No worries, with summer just around the corner the episodes will flow forever and for eternity and I'm sure business will be booming soon enough, this deadlock is only a minor set back.

Now that business has been settled, let's move onto more pressing issues, those being...uhh, I'll be honest, things are lame, very lame. I have been listening to Penn Radio recently though, it's a badass program. If you like the Gene and Mike Show, you'll love Penn Radio! Rest assured, if anything interesting happens, I'll be sure to inform you all.

Laughing at danger and breaking all the rules,
Mike

I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!

Hark!

Episode 5 of the world-renowned (arguable) Gene and Mike Show has been successfully uploaded! Run into the streets and proclaim our victory over adversity, tell your neighbors, call all your old friends, mention it to your family at the dinner table, send letters, alert the internet, damnit! Half an hour of podcast goodness awaits you. Now that the next thirty minutes of your lives are planned, what will I be doing you ask? Friends, it's quite obvious, I will be retiring to the Francis estate in order to enjoy The Master of the Flying Guillotine. Granted, I've seen the movie before, but it's just that damn good. I suggest you check it out some time.

Well, no need to drag on. Here it is, enjoy. I have business to attend to (not really) so I'll take my leave.

Till next time,
Mike

You look like I need a drink

Fuck.

Recorded the fifth installment of The Gene and Mike Show today... of course you'll never get to hear it. In fact no one will ever get to hear it because someone's laptop(Francis') decided to tard out on us right after our half hour extraveganza of an episode was finished. All that had to be done was click save. Oh it had everything too, from a celebrity guest appearance to plenty of grim and frostbitten metal talk. I should really start convincing myself that episode was shit now because it is gone...yet those 30 minutes I will never get back. Looks like we're going to have to recreate the magic all over again and then some because plans are to try this again in the morning(who am I kidding, afternoon).

Sure its been some two weeks since our last episode but we got nothing to show after this setback just yet. In a sign of forgiveness, however, I'll leave you with this. You guys do remember Immortal right? ;)

Off to watch the replay of The Brak Show since it was so damn funny,
Gene

Take the night off...

Hmmmm, my attention is kind of divided here. You see, I'm in the middle of watching UFC 60, I'm not too sure why I decided to blog, but here I am. Francis is seated to my left reading magazines given to me by a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses (funny story). Well, he actually just read what I was typing and put them away, I guess he thinks you can see him... Assuerio Silva is fighting Brandon Vera, Gene has a chocolate bar on Silva (lol).

Anyways, here's the story I referred to earlier: I was basically walking around, moving from point A to point B and I see a car pulled over, doors open, one person in the driver seat and one in the passenger seat. The couple walking ahead of me were approached by one of the men, they ignored him. I walked passed and heard, "you want some reading material." For whatever reason, an angry dude wearing a Misfits T-shirt appeared approachable. So, I inquired in an oh so sly fashion, "what kind of reading material?" Anyways, the dude tells me about God's promise of eternal life and scientific research into the trigger event that begins aging (whatev). So he slipped me two magazines and I walked away. It was only later that I read one of the headlines, "Announcing Jehovah's Kingdom." Damn, those are some sneaky bastards. They got me interested and then threw their newsletters at me. Genius, I'm afraid I might have to end them before they end me. Haha!

BTW, UWA was great. You should've came along.... We'll come up with something to make up for the lack of an episode.

Pissed at the results of UFC 60 so far,
Mike

Turn those clapping hands into angry balled fists

I was about to start this blog off with an anecdote on masturbation and poop but thought it might not have been my best foot to step forward with y'know...hmm... on second thought maybe mentioning those two things out of context might have been even worse. I feel I owe Evan Tate an apology right now...

Episode 4 on the other hand was a total blast, amiright? I've been hearing great feedback too. Maybe its due to our hard-work and heart being more and more put into these episodes or maybe its because people heard the rumours about Francis finally suplexing a zombie (which he did and OMG the zombie bitch's head exploded). Honestly I'm going with the latter here... hard-work is not my forte but exploding zombies I'd say are. Speaking of which, Francis beat Resident Evil 4 just a few days ago so high fives all around people! E-high fives will be accepted too. But hark, for the mission isn't quite complete just yet, that hardcore mother fucker still has to unlock Krauser. I hope he comes with that styling beret :)

I think it's important to note that most of these blogs here are products of long hours spent alone for me. This is the kind of time when my mind really wanders and I tend to talk to myself as if I was talking to somebody else. All the while with really pretentious acoustic music playing in the background (José González anyone). It just seems like the next logical step to get it all down but that would probably explain why I tend to write (or type) like I think (aka rambling). But y'all don't care about stuff like that, you should all care about super rad webcomics! You can blame Niego and COMIC STRIP for my lack of updates recently. I'm really digging these ones here and I think you guys should too.

Oh I was also supposed to mention something about a Francis text adventure we were making before I rambled off but no time now. Guess you guys are just gonna have to tune in next show to find out... cliffhangers make for great exits!

Same bat place same bat time,
Gene

Return of the fly with Vincent Price!

Ridiculous, this is incredibly frustrating. Hell, I even got to work early on uploading the show and all today, but unfortunately, Internet Archive does not joke when they say it could take up to 24hrs for the file to be ready. It has been ten hours...

Oh and how the time passed, after rekindling my love affair with the Heroes of Might and Magic franchise (check out the series, best turn based strategy games ever) and even playing a couple of games of Rune with Gene, I thought episode 4 was all ready. I was mistaken. A word on Rune, this game is the Viking experience. Regardless of the fact that it was released 6 years ago, it totally owns all. Surprisingly enough, the servers are still jam packed with true hearted Vikings. Enemies of metal, your death will be their reward.

The episode was a total success. I can confidently say best one to date. You may not hear it for another... 14 hours or something, but the wait is definitely worth it. I feel obligated to provide a disclaimer of sorts, there is some swearing, some people may find it offensive... there, listen at your own discretion. Anyways, we should probably devise a new system of making the episode available to the fans (can I call you guys fans?). Suggestions would be appreciated. I'll edit this post later as soon as the file becomes available... wait, scratch that, if the file becomes available.

Nordic hails from Valhalla,
Mike

Time to go listen to Static Age :)

EDIT:
Mwhahaha! Success! Episode Four of the Gene and Mike Show!
By the way, listen to the show and then check out this link. I'm telling you, people are taking ideas from our shtick! Haha!

Wheelin' No Dealing Son of a Gun!

I advise all of you of there that if Howie Mandel (holy shit he was the voice of Gizmo) comes up to you on the street and offers you $71, 000 you tell him "NO DEAL" as loud as you can to the excitement of a random group of very greedy and stupid people. Then you can watch him walk away and you will realize you are not on that game show in question and you just passed up on $71,000.

That made no sense right there... but then again neither does Deal or No Deal but I still watch it.

Now onto a topic slightly less Jewy (lol). Francis gave up the opportunity to suplex a zombie yesterday and I am immensely disappointed in him. He opted to instead back off and continue his reign of wasting bullets shooting that zombie solely in the ACL and no other region of his body. I expect a full apology on the next show for even though ya'll weren't there to see it, in heart you all could have experienced the once in a lifetime chance of knowing a zombie had a signature professional wrestling move done on it. Man that would have been awesome to see too...sigh.

Until the next show,
Gene

P.S. (hehe the spell check said P.S. should be replaced with "POOH")
http://www.thatvideosite.com/view/2422.html
Anything with a Samuel L. Jackson joke gets my mother fucking vote!

We're all born with a chance and I will have my chance.

Huzzah! Episode 3 of the Gene and Mike Show is good to go ladies and gentlemen. Thank Evan Tate for letting us use "Bernie's Doom" as an intro and outro, makes us seem professional, doesn't it? I won't give away too much about the episode, rest assured, it's a solid one.

With that, however, comes the end of the weekend, how unfortunate.... They give you a taste of freedom before pulling you back, those crazy sadists. The plan for tomorrow is to get the old band back together, kind of, it’s a long story. Perhaps I will elaborate another time. Till then, enjoy episode 3.

-Mike

For only before my sight will the gate open...

Looks like our plans to record today were thwarted. By whom you may ask? Well, how bout rather than telling you children bested our efforts , we will come up with a bizarre story:

The year is 2034, a group of rogue genetically enhanced humans dodged the recent attacks of Islamic extremist zombies. After a valiant battle against the enemies of metal, we aligned ourselves with this rogue group of humans in an attempt to halt the Great Circuiting. Otherwise, humanity as we know it in the year 2034, would have never existed... (?)

So you better thank your lucky stars the show wasn't recorded today. Rest assured, the episode will be recorded early tomorrow for a late Saturday release, hopefully.

Please pray for Francis, he is struggling with Resident Evil 4. Those zombies just pwn his ass.

Viva la resistance,
Gene and Mike

Tonight we give it 35%

I'm currently eating this mangled "cake" out of a big tupperware tub and at first bite thought it sucked but I now realize it only sucks as a cake. The word cake to me has different characteristics that I enjoy that are far from this meal. As a strawberry tart thing however, it isn't actually that bad, but I digress...

We here at The Gene and Mike Show (basically thats just Mike and I feat. Francis) have been currently thinking about some different ideas for a profile picture to put up, a logo of sorts. Some ideas were passed around like having just Francis in some Power Rangers battlizer armour or just us all in some sharp suits ala Reservior Dogs but we are at a serious lack of suits and, oddly enough, fictional armour. Not to mention I can't help but feel an impeding sense of failure in this department considering nothing we could do could possibly come close to this promo picture by the band 3 Inches of Blood (who rock):
http://www.bhcdiecast.com/images/weaponsphotos.jpg
The dude in the baseball cap is my personal fav :)

So in short, send in any ideas... or snappy suits,
Gene

And then the man steps right up to the microphone

I'll be honest... I have nothing to say. I do feel obligated to blog, though. It has been a while and by that I mean three days. Nonetheless, my ludicrous rants continue...

I swear someone is out to get us. For the past week I've been checking the profile views and they have remained unchanged, when I know for a fact that we have been steadily getting more listeners. The culprits? Well, I will put my super-sleuthing skills to use to figure out. I should arrive at an answer shortly. I think the neocons in association with the Decepticons are at fault here. Why? Because they both end in -cons. Which brings me to Genghis Kahn...

There is a hefty amount of work I have to get to so I should get going. I leave the task of unfreezing our profile views to you, the viewers. Good luck and Godspeed.

Continue to fight for the cause,
Mike

The rest... is silence

I don't know about all of you out there (yes all 24 of you) but I have had a total reawakening to old CG cartoons I used to watch back in the day. It all started when I caught an episode of Shadow Raiders last night on TV which was a show I had completely forgot about. How I went all this time without remembering that Russian space skeletor and his space crab-people drones I'll never know. Now of course after watching this I had to look it up on my old friend Wikipedia which led me to Reboot, but most importantly Beasties. Now this was a show I could never forget. I always remembered how fucking metal it was but something I had not remembered was just how deep it could be. To make my point here is a quote from that certified bad dude Dinobot discussing quantum physics and the very fabric of time:

"To be... or not to be. That is the question. These disks I hold... are they a record of what will be, or only of what may? For if the future is indeed immutably foretold, then my demise is but moments away from that confirmation - for I could not live if not the master of my fate, but, if indeed the future can be changed - if these disks record only one path of all the myriad ways the cosmos might conform - then their power is infinite, and yet, still limited, for they could be used but once - and then in that change be rendered fiction forever more. I could destroy them, but, no... t'would be a coward's answer. I will know the truth instead. Then - it will be either them, or me, that face oblivion..."-Dinobot

Bravo Dinobot, Bravo. Shakespeare can eat your ass cause I think we know who the real linguist here is.

Oh and as for the podcast wasn't it awesome (I feel like I owe Zach Miller royalties everytime I say that) people? I think the extended format might have taken its toll on me by the last half with my disgusting slurring of the word "Slavic" being urged out, but it was still a fun ride. An informational one too with much discussion on the obscure sub-genres of metal being went over. Hopefully we didn't manage to alienate our audience (that teh_pwnerer role player) so soon with all that. Francis would also like to promise to cut down on the Harry Potter spoilers too. We can't have Islamic extremists who haven't finished reading "The Half Blood Prince" be claiming any jihads on us afterall.

Now off to watch the episode of Beasties I downloaded where Dinobot dies,
Gene

We are the Sultans of Swing

What a day...

Let's talk business first. Today I got an email back from Evan Tate (a jazz musician) and he is allowing us to use his song, "Bernie's Doom" for our podcast. We thank him greatly. Check him out http://www.podsafeaudio.com/jamroom/bands/442/

Well, we did record episode 2 yesterday. I'm going through the same procedure, so chances are it will be ready for download later today, much later today.

Yeah, we're really starting to get used to this whole podcasting business. First two episodes were pretty casual, but you can see the progression of things. Our next episode, from the way things are turning out, will be intense. Only time will tell, though.

Hmmm, that was way too serious of a post... haha

Out,
Mike

EDIT: Whoops... Right after I typed this up, I went to check on the file and figures it is good to go. Awesome! Check it out ladies and gents. Keep in mind we recorded this one in Francis' living room...

Coming in out of the rain to hear the jazz go down...

Well, I think that you all should know that as I write this, I am eating apricots out of a can. Mind you, they aren't nearly as good as canned peaches, but I can't find any of those. Yeah, canned apricots are actually pretty damn bad, most of them are disfigured and they leave a horrible after-taste, the rest have a texture I would rather avoid. Yet, I continue to eat...

The plan so far is to record episode 2 tomorrow. I guess if past experiences are any indication, the episode should be available the following day... should. For all I know, technical advisor Francis (title pending) could sabotage our work. My voice seems to be sore, I blame him entirely.

Hopefully we can come up with some topics to discuss; it should prove to be entertaining. We're actually trying to work on an intro tune, to avoid unnecessary legal trouble, looks like we need to come up with something original. Meh.

I have since put the can of apricots down. I will now try to find more food.

Out,
Mike

When New Creatures Rape Your Myspace

I don't actually have a myspace but y'know it rhymes with face... wordplay is my addiction...

As for the actual podcast, was it as amazing as I said it was going to be or what? According to some guy named Tyler and a Teh_Pwnerer role player we nailed it. Now if we can just get those fellows who go around the interent posing as Power Rangers to give us their praises I can die a happy man. Not that I support death or anything, my mother raised me differently than that I'm proudly anti-dying myself. Afterall death is so emo.

Notice that we got the episode up without help from our technical adviser Francis too. We're thinking of giving him some new title to frivilously wear. That or make him actually do some work, perhaps an artist for a webcomic for us! We got him drawing goblins for his audition we'll keep you posted on the progress. Expect some detailed thoughts on my favourite webcomics out there in the near future to come out also. Just remember this for now: Mitch Clem is my hero...well him and The Green Ranger.

-Gene

I ain’t no goddamn son of a bitch!

I have conquered the internet, it is now my bitch. The episode is uploaded. That's right, upload and explode ladies and gentlemen. I think I got a good handle of this whole process now, the knots have been untied and future episodes will definitely not face similar adversity.

A note about the episode, it is indeed shortened. It was originally intended to be twenty minutes long, but you know... Rest assured, new episodes will cover the full twenty minutes. We did try to keep the swearing down in this one (lol), it helps retain some credibility, but who needs that? Haha! We're working with a pretty bad mic right now, we'll try to upgrade ASAP. Enjoy the episode.

Stay Fresh,
Mike

Click here to go where eagles dare...

Let The Horror Start...

Haha! Success... well, not really.

Despite being held down by our joke of a technical advisor, I have managed to find a place that will host episode 1. The only drawback is that I have to wait 24hrs for the file to be "confirmed." Now what the fuck is that?! Oh well, now that I've kinda got this monkey off my back I can go to sleep. I say kinda because in reality this monkey is still holding on with one hand, grasping at its last chance for survival... Which I guess means that I still have yet to post the episode or toss it into that wild pool of podcasts.

Please excuse the ridiculousness of my post. I'm so sorry...

Out for now,
Mike

Mommy, can I go out and blog tonight!

Well hello there Blogosphere, hey that kinda rhymed (you know if you don't know how to pronounce sphere correctly...) Gene blogging in here. Man how many times have I said "blog" so far?

The answer is 4.

Sorry about no podcast so far guy(s) (who am I kidding our viewership must be even less than in the singular) but there are some technical problems and apparently our technical adviser, Francis, is against advising us. That and he isn't very technically adept. That's what we get for assigning staff based on racial stereotypes (he's teh aznz0rz). On the brightside our first 10 minute episode is recorded and is just waiting to be unleashed on all you mofos. I wouldn't quite call it episode 1 with its shortened length though so maybe something edgier like episode 00 or episode X, ala Goldberg, is in order. Nevertheless you can be assured that the episode will be rad.

Lovingly yours,
Gene Parmesan

wait wait... that doesn't sound very hardcore

Lovingly yours,
GXP

yeah thats it!

Let The Day Begin...

To make things quick, we did come up with the brilliant idea of a podcast to spread our nonsensical (genius...) conversations, but as of now all we have is this kick ass blog set up. Episodes will be uploaded shortly.

Rest assured, they will roxzOrz your boxzOrz.

Stay Metal,
Gene and Mike